A Creep in the Night

It's no secret that we live in the ghetto. We're proud of it. We're thinking of getting jackets or shirts that say, "Ghetto Pride, Camden or Die!" Alright, maybe that's not true. But, we do love our neighborhood and the spice of life it brings...most of the time. However, that ghetto love was diminished just a tiny bit on Monday night. Allow me to scenario you.

It's about 10:10 pm and we're arriving home from a friend's party. We roll up to our garage (because that's how you arrive in our hood, you roll up), and just as my husband cuts the engine I see a male figure striding down the alley towards us. Now, let me just alert you to how my brain works before we venture any further into this story. My brain is such that if I see a tiny, baby bunny, my first thought is not, "Oh, how cute! We should keep it as a pet!" My first thought goes something more like, " I bet that bunny has rabies, or another bunny-born disease that I certainly do not want to carry around on my person." I envision that itty-bitty ball of fur sprouting fangs, and lunging at me in a vampire-esque fashion to impale and deliver a deadly dose of bunny venom. It's true...it's sick, but it's true. So, when I see a man walking down our alley at 10-dark-thirty at night, my brain jumps to all kinds of murderous, stabby conclusions! I think I even said the words, "Well, that doesn't look good."

My husband got out of the Jeep and closed the door, at which point the man waved and began to approach him. Around this time I'm becoming nervous and gripping a crock pot full of boiled nacho cheese product just a bit tighter to my chest (we'd brought nachos to the party - ole!). Oh, and just a special note for those of you who do not enjoy the smell of processed nacho cheese product that's been boiling in a crock pot for the better part of 5 hours: Hugging it closely to your chest WILL transfer that smell to your clothes. Make note!

Anyways, this man flags down my husband, producing his wallet and pointing to the indication on his ID stating that he's deaf. He spends the next few moments trying to relay to Rusty what we decided was this information: "My car broke down over there and I need a ride to Shoreview". Rusty graciously pointed out several gas stations and a repair shop within walking distance of our house, apologized to the man for not being able to do more, wished him good luck, and began walking towards our gate. I hurriedly joined him, envisioning a gun to our backs at any moment, a Hollywood-worthy kidnapping scene, and my eventual bloody demise. Thankfully, that was not the scene that followed.

After unlocking our door and dumping the aforementioned cheese product into a seal-able smell-proof bag, I began to prepare for dreamland. While I was brushing my teeth, Rusty came into the bathroom with a puzzled look on his face and stated, "I think that guy is standing outside our house." Now, for a girl with a vivid imagination and a pension towards doom, these are NOT happy words of encouragement! Admittedly, I freaked out a little bit.

Apparently, Rusty had gone to the front of our house to look out the window in our front door and had seen this man standing on the sidewalk in front of our house...and he had waived at Rusty! Yeah, well, because we've seen those CSI episodes (not to mention Law & Order, Medium, and Cops!) we walked around our house checking doors and turning off lights. And then, we took stealth watch positions out our two front windows, being careful to keep out of view.

The creepy mystery man walked across the street to the police training center and entered there...but only briefly. In a few minutes he was back outside, pacing up and down the sidewalk and every so often stopping to stare at our house. I was convinced that he could see me through the closed curtains (even though I was ducked down behind the couch cushions!). Where is my invisible spray when I need it?? A few minutes into our home-invasion-prevention standoff the man gazed over at our house and waived again! Rusty jokingly inquired if I'd like him to go get his gun. Not seeing the need for jokes, I very seriously replied that I'd very much appreciate it if he would go get his BAT! He agreed.

This went on for a while people. The man walked in and out of the building across the street, wondered up and down the sidewalk and just generally creeped us out for almost an hour, as we sat vigilent in our stake-out. Finally, around 11 pm a truck pulled up and he got in, driving out of our lives (but definitely not out of my mind!). As we continued to watch out the window a squad car pulled up to the door he had been standing at and two uniformed police men got out and went inside. They came back out shortly thereafter and drove away. We're convinced someone in the training center or one of our concerned neighbors called the police regarding this man's presence, but he was gone before they arrived.

Needless to say I didn't sleep well on Monday night. I couldn't stop listening for sounds, and watching for movement in the shadows outside our bedroom windows! That is just a little too much excitement for me right before my head hits the pillow. I don't need excuses to dream of balding, fat men in yellow leotards, smoking cigars and following me into elevators. Oh, you probably don't understand that reference! That's a whole other blog! Just know that my vivid imagination rolls over into vivid nightmares! I'm sure I'll conjure up a doosie from this experience. Look forward to that post!